Helping your Child cope with Life Part II, Seven C’s of resilience

All children have abilities and strengths that can help them cope with everyday life.  As parents, you can develop your children resilience by paying attention to those strengths and building them. But what are the ingredients of resilience?

 

There are 7 essential components, all interrelated, called the 7 Crucial C’s.

 

Competence – ability to handle situations effectively

 

Confidence – the solid belief in one’s own abilities.

 

Connection – close ties to family, friends, school, and community give children a sense of security and values that prevent them from seeing destructive alternatives to love and attention.

 

Character – a fundamental sense of right and wrong that helps children make wise choices, contribute to the world, and become stable adults.

 

Contribution – when children realize that the world is a better place because they are in it, they will take actions and make choices that improve the world.  They will develop a sense of purpose to carry then through future challenges.Coping – children who learn to cope effectively with stress are better prepared to overcome life’s challenges.

 

Control -  when children realize that they can control their decisions and actions, they’re more likely to know that they have what it takes to bounce back. Building resilienceParent are the most important source of love, support, and guidance for their children and therefore have the greatest effect on resilience.  here’s how you can make a difference.

 

Love – To be strong, your children need love, absolute security, and a deep connection to at least one adult.

 

Let go – Sometimes the best thing you can do to help your children learn is get out of their way while allowing them to figure things out on their own.

 

Expect the best -  Your children will live up or down to your expectations of them, so expect them to be kind, caring individuals who will give their best effort.

 

Listen – Listening to your children attentively is more important than any words can say.  this applies to routine situations as well as times of crisis.

 

Set a good example – Nothing you say is as important as what your children see you doing on a daily basis.

 

Encourage – Your children can only take positive steps when they have confidence to do so.  They gain that confidence when they have solid reasons to believe they are competent.

 

Teach – If your children are to develop the strength to overcome challenges, they need to know that they can control what happens to them.  Helping children develop a wide range of positive coping strategies will prepare them to overcome almost anything and make them far less likely to try many of the risk behaviors we all fear.

 

Coping strategies – managing stressAdults deal with stress in various ways, from helpful strategies like exercise, meditation, long walks, and turning down overtime or weekend work, to less helpful ways like using painkillers, smoking, or drinking another glass of wine.

 

How do children deal with stress?

 

Depending on their ages and temperaments, some kids with drawer, sulk, or zone out, while others act aggressively, talk back, toss tantrums.

 

Older children may turn to the coping mechanisms that they see their peers using such as smoking, drugs, fighting, sexual activity, eating disorders, self mutilation, and delinquency.

 

Adults usually see these activities as behavior problems and underestimate the amount of stress that young people are under today. in actuality, these negative behaviors are often attempts to counter stress, push it under, chill out, and make it all go away.When Kids are stressed, their first impulse is to relieve the discomfort.  They don’t sit down and rationally think about the best way to do it.  They find relief by acting impulsively or following the paths most readily available to them, the ones they see other kids taking.  most young people simply don’t know healthy and effective alternatives.

 

Unless we guide them toward positive ways to relieve and manage stress, they will choose the negative behaviors of their peers or the culture they absorb from the media.  They will become caught up in a cycle of negative coping methods and risky behaviors such as using alcohol or drugs to relieve their stress.

 

We need to help them avoid that cycle.content: www.aap.org